FROM AS YOUNG AS I CAN REMEMBER, I HEARD THE PHRASE 'SHE’S JUST SHY.’ A LOT. IT WAS LIKE A SHADOW, IT FOLLOWED ME WHEREVER I WENT.

It was the catch-all phrase that was supposed to explain why I didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t speak much at new places or with new people.

And up until the age of about 22, I thought that was just me. Other people always seemed, well, better at talking. At knowing what to say. At holding a conversation.

So at the age of 22, what happened I hear you say?

Well, nothing too eventful.

I went on a management course.

There I learned about the Jungian or Myers Briggs models of introverts vs extrovert.

Not so exciting I hear you say but for me, it was like a lightbulb, well actually floodlight turning on.

I thought, why had I never learned that:

• some people liked talking a lot, and some people didn't.

• some people are energised by being in large crowds and spending lots of time with people and others aren’t.

I REALISED FOR THE FIRST TIME I WASN’T DIFFERENT, I WAS JUST WELL, AN INTROVERT.

I’ve since spent a number of years unpacking shyness, introversion, sensitivity. They are all connected.

People who are introverted often tend to be more sensitive.

Science shows that the brains of highly sensitive people are more active when they go to new places. They are taking everything in, and processing it.

Science shows that you can even detect sensitivity in babies brain’s as young as 4 months old in how they respond to a mobile above a cot.

This is why some people feel more overwhelmed by busy places, parties.

There are physiological differences that introverted or more sensitive people have.

BUT WHY DOES THIS MATTER?

We live in a society that normalises extroversion, think the ‘personality’ leader, open plan offices, brainstorming.

Shyness is a social construct. My kids doesn’t act according to these societal norms and they will most likely be called shy as a result.

Shyness is a label that gets attached to kids who need time to process things, and then they get the label and it becomes self-reinforcing.

But so many superpowers come from introversion and sensitivity.

Those that are seeing the subtle details that not everyone sees, are most probably the creatives. They make connections that others are not seeing.

Those that are sensitive to other’s feelings, are most probably caring and empathetic and will become the thoughtful leaders or thrive in caring professions.

So why does all this matter?

If we teach our kids from early on that everyone is different they will grow up with the confidence to know that the things that are unique about them are their superpowers not their kryptonite.

IF YOUR CHILD IS MORE INTROVERTED, I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE LANGUAGE TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND WHY THAT IS…

…AND THE SUPERPOWERS THAT COME FROM IT!

This is not easy. This is why I’m passionate about teaching kids about this topic using a language they can take in (art, story, imagination!) and talking about it.

Teaching kids self-knowledge is so important.

Let’s empower them to understand themselves and thrive.

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